| What’s stopping you? Let them out. All those excuses. Say them out loud. Without verbalization, you convince yourself that the excuse makes sense. Not everything your mind cooks up is true. Most of us take our thoughts as gospel, but saying excuses out loud helps you realize how childish it sounds. The reasoning might even be valid, but an excuse is like a complaint against reality. Reality: I should be in shape. Excuse: I don’t have time to exercise. It doesn’t change reality at all. You should still be in shape enough to run and play and lift your kids. Let’s break down the excuse above: I don’t have time to exercise. You really could believe this, but why? You’ve probably seen articles like this one: |
| Or heard parents say “having kids is so exhausting” or you’ve even run the numbers. Maybe you can’t find the time. But you must make time for what is important. “I don’t have time” = “I don’t want to” Your mind has become weak. Your negative thoughts manifest as nothing more than a complaint you might hear from a 5-year-old: “I CAN’T DO IT” Guess who controls your thoughts? Here’s the honest truth. You can’t control the thoughts you have. But you can control which ones you pay attention to. This is great news. We should acquire and prune our thoughts like the curator of an art museum. There are certain timeless artists that every museum should strive to display. |
| Similarly, we should fill our minds with good stuff like wisdom from others, useful skills, and things that bring us unbridled joy. And there is some art that should never see the inside of a museum. Just like those thoughts that we know aren’t good for us, but we let them stick around anyway. I just need to let you know, you don’t have to let them linger. Kick negativity out of your brain. Tips for unstoppable confidence This journey will vary widely, depending on your general confidence level today. If you’re anything like me, you fluctuate between mid- and low-confidence most of the time (with short bursts of Kanye-level bravado). |
| His confidence never ceases to amaze me. But there are some things that can help people like us: 1. Reframe – Remember earlier when you said you didn’t have time to work out? Yeah, I remembered. What if you changed your definition of a workout just to start the habit? Instead of trying to fit in an olympic lifting session, just commit to 10 pushups a day for the next two weeks. 2. Build momentum – Use that two weeks as a launchpad. I floundered with a 100/day pushup challenge for months. Couldn’t make it more than two days consecutively. That is…until I decided I was fine if I only did 33/day. Funny enough, three months later I had done 90 days of 100 push-ups per day. Start small enough. Prove to yourself you can win. 3. Meditate – For decades, I just took thoughts in my head as truth. To be honest, I didn’t really feel like I was having thoughts. My neurons fired and I moved (or didn’t move). Meditation helped me to break that pattern and start to hear what was going on up there. Give it a shot. 4. Be deliberate – Practical tip. Anytime you’re going somewhere, actively think about getting there before you move. This primes you to walk there faster. Stand up straight. Smile. Don’t rush, but don’t meander either. Apply this to any area of your life. 5. Get in shape – I’m not a fitness guru, but I’ll tell you one thing: I feel such a positive difference in my mind and body after losing JUST 5 POUNDS over the last 18 months. Fat sucks nutrients from the brain, probably. Every little improvement helps. These five tips can help you build confidence. The more you practice keeping your thoughts pruned, your body healthy, and your actions on fire; the more confident you’ll feel. Tony | Unflinching Fatherhood |